Lately, I have heard a lot of folks complaining about being single, and talking about their relationship status as some kind of disorder that needs to be treated.  But here is the truth about why people suffer over being single: the belief that life is always better when we have a plus-one.  But is that really true?  Or is that what we have been programmed to believe by our friends/parents/society?

I encourage suffering singletons to consider the possibility that, at certain times in our lives, it’s better NOT to be romantically coupled.  For one thing, it is an incredible time to focus on becoming an awesome partner to yourself.  Are you treating yourself with the love and respect you desire and deserve?  Taking time to nurture and understand yourself is an incredible investment in yourself and your future partnership.

Singlehood also comes with the perk of getting really clear on your values and purpose, and prioritizing your life accordingly.  How do you want to feel in a relationship?  What do you want to give to a relationship?  What is your definition of a successful, loving, and fulfilling relationship?  Don’t we all know someone who got so distracted by a romantic relationship that they allowed their priorities to slip?  Healthy relationships should support and honor our values and purpose, not distract us from them.

Here is more truth for the singletons out there: There is nothing wrong with you.  You are totally loveable.  You’ve just lost sight of how amazing you are because you are so busy looking around for someone else.  Keep your intention to be in a loving, healthy partnership, but drop the story that something is wrong with you because you are currently a party of one.  Remove the scarlet “S” from your chest.

For those of you who are in relationship . . .  I encourage you to still have a “single” life.  That doesn’t mean you should ask your partner for a hall pass and start getting swipe happy on Tinder.  What I mean is, make sure you have a life outside of your relationship.  Your own friends, interests, and hobbies are important so that you can stop projecting massive expectations on your partner.  Because one person can never be our everything.

I also encourage you to change how you perceive your relationship.  Rather than focusing on the problems/issues/fights, look for all of the incredible blessings, growth opportunities, and LOVE around you.  Stop thinking another situation would be better.  The grass is NOT greener. Stop being in limbo.  Living an “in between” mindset is preventing you from enjoying your life at its full capacity!

Your relationship status does not define you and it absolutely should not impact the amount of love you feel.  Be grateful for whatever your relationship status is – single, dating, divorced, engaged, married, or “it’s complicated” – and embrace it because there is tremendous growth, love and even FUN that comes with each one.

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