Are you being strategic in your conversations more than you’re being present and authentic?
Do you often plan conversations in your head before you have them? Do you go to multiple people for advice on what to say in a conversation that you’re anticipating with someone? Do you think first about the end result you want from a conversation and then script a conversation to create that result?
It’s natural to want to prepare ourselves for a conversation with someone, especially if it’s about something important to us or feels like a confrontation is brewing.
However, we often become so attached to what the other person will think, say, or do that we become overly analytical and strategic rather than clear and honest.
Strategic communication is like playing chess. Rather than just speaking from our heart, we over-think all our moves and try to anticipate the other person’s next move. But have you ever watched people playing chess? They’re too focused and in their own head to connect with the person sitting across from them. The person you’re having a conversation with is not your opponent. If you’re communicating strategically rather than authentically, you’re going to experience more restriction in your ability to express yourself. He or she is just another player in the game of life who’s also yearning to connect more authentically with people.
I encourage you to set the intention to always be authentic and truthful in your communication. The place you’re coming from when you speak is just as important (if not more) than what you say. If you’re coming from a place of attachment to the outcome of the conversation or what the other person will think, it impacts your ability to genuinely speak your truth. And if you’re communicating from this place, are you creating results in your life that are in alignment with who you truly are? For example, when you start dating someone, do you find yourself strategizing to come up with the “right” things to say to get the other person to like you? If so, you’re playing a game rather than playing all out as your authentic self. And then your new relationship is built on games rather than truth.
Get out of the game of strategizing and into the game of life by speaking your truth!