Inner conflict is one of the ways we stay stuck. As long as we’re sitting on the fence, we don’t have to pick a side, hop down, and get on with our lives. Since my transformational coaching is one massive attempt to help you break free from your inner stalemate and give this one life your absolute all – no excuses, no settling, no regrets – we’ve got to talk about resistance.
None of us likes change. Our natural impulse is to create all sorts of reasons why we should stay right where we are, confined inside the prison of our comfort zone.
You will have doubts. It’s not a one-time deal. You’ll have to keep reminding yourself what you want and why the change is necessary … despite your resistance. And, yes, you’ll have to keep choosing, every day and every moment, to move forward—toward your fulfilling future. But trust in this: every time you take action despite your fear voices, you grow stronger.
The most important thing to remember about your resistance is that it isn’t necessarily a sign you should abandon your plan to jump. It’s just that that’s where your comfort zone is—the familiar.
With my own jump—leaving my legal career and pursuing my dream of coaching—initially I approached resistance with a sword, ready to wage war. I thought if I could just muscle through the resistance, and outlast it, that I would be victorious. But the funny thing is…it doesn’t quite work out that way.
Resistance is like a beach ball. When you push it underwater, it pops back up to the surface even stronger. So, as you move closer to making your jump, accept that resistance is bound to pop up to the surface and possibly even hit you in the face. Don’t push it back down. Let it be there.
And then, take it one step further … embrace the resistance. Now why would I want you to do that?
Resistance rears her uninvited head in the form of negative thoughts and feelings, attitudes, self-judgment, anger, and distraction. But she’s a part of you. How you react to resistance may be the difference between staying where you are and breaking through to realizing your greatest dreams. Instead of resenting her and wishing her ill will, you might as well sidle up to her and ask her if she wants to go get a cup of coffee.
By befriending your resistance, you honor and acknowledge her but you take away her power and eliminate the conflict. Think of resistance as a guide, whose job is to test you as you progress on your journey. Every time you notice she’s knocking on your door, offer to buy her a latte and inform her that you’re going to keep moving forward anyway.
Resistance is a natural part of the process. But you can choose how to deal with it.
If this post resonates with you and you’re ready to create massive personal and professional change in your life, I’d love to work with you!