“Attunement” is the ability to understand and tune into your partner’s inner world. When you don’t attune to your partner, you miss an opportunity to respond to their emotions in a way that deepens your connection.
This can build up resentment over time and erode trust in your relationship.
To attune, you first need to accept your partner’s emotions, including the difficult ones (e.g., anger, fear, and sadness). But it’s not about memorizing a script. It’s about increasing your understanding of your partner and expressing acceptance and support.
Open up about your own feelings and talk to each other in a way that encourages compassion and feeling safe. Be an ally more than a problem-solver. Ask open-ended questions about your partner’s feelings, and express empathy.
This isn’t an easy process to learn, but it’s a vital one, and all couples can learn how to do it with a little practice.
If you need help attuning to your partner, consider one-on-one coaching with me! To learn more about working with me, head over to the “Work With Me” page!