The more we want something, the more attached we are to obtain it. And attachment usually leads to disappointment. Why is that?
When we’re attached to getting a specific result, we put far more pressure on ourselves, another person, or a situation. Instead of being in the flow of life, we put our desires in a pressure cooker and project way too far into the future. For example, you have an idea for a business and you begin to set specific goals that you want to hit. As soon as you believe that hitting those goals is going to make you successful/happy/or whatever it is that you want to feel, you’re attached. Or let’s say you’re longing for a relationship and someone comes along who has potential. You create attachment the second you want it to turn into anything more than it is right in that very moment.
When we become attached to the outcome of how we want something to turn out, we miss out on a lot of things. We miss out on clearly hearing the voice of our intuition because we’re future focused — and intuition resides in the present moment. We miss out on the preciousness of the moment. We get so caught up in an end result that we skip the learning that comes with being right here, right now. We also miss out on guidance from the Universe or possible red flags because we’re so tunnel-vision focused on what we want.
So, does this mean that we shouldn’t want things? Does it mean we shouldn’t set goals?
I don’t think desire is bad or wrong. It’s an important feeling to have because it’s a compass. Yet we often misunderstand desire. We think we desire a form or result — but what we truly desire is the feeling that we believe that form or result will give us. Going back to the examples from above, if you have a career goal it’s actually not the goal your mind came up with that’s driving you. You’re really chasing the feeling you think achieving that goal will give you. Will achieving a goal make you feel successful, proud, and financially secure? If so, generate those feelings without having to hit any specific goal and allow your plans to unfold. Similarly, if you want a relationship, you’re really chasing the feeling you think being in a relationship will give you. Will being in a relationship make you feel loved, validated, and passionate? If so, generate those feelings without needing someone else there.
The way to let go of attachment AND still get what you desire is to cultivate the feelings you think what you want will give you without actually having to have it.
Are you willing to let go of your attachment to the belief that you need something external to make you feel a certain way?
If you’re currently cultivating the feelings you desire in the future, you’ll feel a sense of completeness and not long for anything. Nothing would feel like it was missing. And from this whole place, anything else that happens only enhances the experience you’re already having.
You’d be able to let go of the energy of attachment, which I assure you will create much more flow, joy and presence in your life. It also won’t push away people or opportunities that feel the pressure cooker of your attachment energy.
I get that this isn’t an easy concept to comprehend — much less practice — because we live in a world where we’re very conditioned to believe our feelings are a result of results. But they’re not. Our truest feelings and desires come from our inner truth and the more tapped in we are to the truth of who we are, the more we realize that we truly have everything we need and want.